How Do You Ever Trust Someone Again After Being Cheated On?
Short answer: You take it slow.
Longer answer: You take it slow on purpose. Trust isn’t something you just hand over like a spare house key. It’s built, over time, through consistency and honesty. And here’s the kicker—crazy will reveal itself.
If someone is rushing the process, pushing too hard, or professing love before they even know your middle name, that’s a red flag. Not a passionate, movie-worthy romance. Trust is earned, not given as a default setting.
How to deal with trust issues after being cheated on… you take it one step at a time.
How To Fix Your Picker
In the fallout, you’re not just healing from what happened. You tend to also spend a lot of time examining why it happened and who you let close enough to hurt you. If you’ve found yourself in a cycle of toxic relationships, it’s time to take a closer look at your “picker”—the internal compass that steers you toward people who may not be good for you.
Some key questions to ask yourself:
Do I ignore red flags because I want something to work so badly?
Do I fall for potential instead of reality?
Am I choosing people who mirror past wounds instead of partners who help me grow?
We’re not asking you to blame yourself for your past and your shortcomings. We want you to start to recognize these patterns so you can break them.
How To Get Past Trust Issues After Cheating
There’s no shortcut. You don’t just get over trust issues; you work through them.
Healing from betrayal is a process that involves:
Validating your feelings. Betrayal hurts, and pretending it doesn’t will only make it worse.
Setting boundaries. Whether you stay or go, clear expectations about honesty and communication are a must.
Building (or rebuilding) trust through actions, not words. Promises are easy to make. Consistency is what counts.
Seeking support. Whether it’s from friends, a therapist, or both—don’t navigate this alone.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
The age-old question. And the answer? It depends.
If your partner is genuinely remorseful, actively working to rebuild trust, and willing to put in the effort, staying could lead to a stronger, more honest relationship. But if they gaslight, minimize, or expect you to just "move on" without any accountability? That’s a different story.
Staying should mean healing is possible, not that you’re stuck in a loop of pain and doubt.
What To Do When You Can’t Trust
If you find yourself constantly checking their phone, feeling anxious when they go out, or doubting everything they say, it’s time to assess whether this relationship is healthy for you.
Some key questions to consider:
Do I feel emotionally safe with this person?
Are they doing the work to rebuild trust, or am I the only one trying?
Do I want to trust them, or do I feel like I should?
Your nervous system knows. Listen to it.
What Happens To Your Self-Esteem When You Stay With Someone You Can’t Trust
Spoiler: It tanks.
When you stay in a relationship where trust is broken and nothing changes, you slowly start to doubt yourself. You question your worth, your instincts, and whether you deserve better.
Trust issues don’t just impact your relationship; they impact you. You deserve peace of mind, not just a relationship status.
Is It All on Me?
Nope. Trust is a two-person job.
It’s not on you to just “get over it” and pretend nothing happened. And it’s not on them to fix everything with a single apology.
Rebuilding trust requires effort from both sides:
They need to be transparent, accountable, and patient.
You need to be open to healing, setting boundaries, and recognizing when something isn’t working.
If the effort is one-sided, the relationship isn’t healing—it’s surviving. And that’s not sustainable.
What If I Can't Trust Anyone Now?
Betrayal doesn’t just break your trust in one person—it can shake your confidence in everyone. If you find yourself doubting friends, family, or even your own ability to judge character, you’re not alone.
Healing includes learning to trust others again while also learning to trust yourself again. Your instincts, your boundaries, and your ability to recognize healthy vs. unhealthy dynamics. Therapy can help you rebuild that foundation so that trust isn’t about blind faith but about confidence in your own judgment and emotional safety.
How The Virtual Therapists Can Help
If all of this feels overwhelming, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Therapy provides the space to unpack the betrayal, process your emotions, and decide what’s best for you.
At The Virtual Therapists, we specialize in helping people rebuild after betrayal—whether that means repairing your relationship or finding the strength to walk away.
If you’re ready to move forward—on your terms—reach out today. Because you deserve clarity, healing, and a relationship that feels safe and real.
Ready to start healing? Let’s talk.
Why Choose Our Online Virtual Counselors?
Specialized Expertise: Our therapists aren’t generalists. They specialize in different areas of mental health, ensuring you get the tailored support you need.
Convenience: No commuting, no waiting rooms. Receive therapy from the comfort of your home, office, or wherever you feel safe and relaxed.
Flexibility: Our virtual platform can adapt to your schedule. You decide when you want to have your session.
Confidentiality: Just like traditional face-to-face therapy, our online sessions are private and confidential.
If you’re seeking an online, virtual counseling in New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Maryland, Virginia or Florida, please reach out for a complimentary consultant today.
